My big toe hurts, it’s been annoying for a little over a week. It doesn’t hurt constantly, but when I walk barefoot it feels… not great. Walking also does not feel super, and while it doesn’t hurt more while I’m running, it certainly doesn’t feel great afterwards so I’m taking a little break from running. But that’s kind of a problem because the Transplant games are a month away and I am not nearly ready. This morning I thought I should make an appointment with a podiatrist, something I’ve been avoiding.
I have a feeling I’ll be told to rest, but for how long? And how will I know it’s safe to start up again? This is a massive source of frustration for me because I was really feeling like I was establishing a pattern, I wasn’t talking myself out of my 4x/week runs, and I was making progress. If I have to go on the injured reserve for weeks, well crap. That’s no good. I’ll have to start all over. Part of me doesn’t want to see a doctor because they might tell me to stop. But I also do want to see a doctor because they might have a solution.
How do I know if they’re a good doctor? How do I choose? What if they don’t have an appointment for weeks? What if my toe is actually broken? What if I’ve already made it worse? What if they don’t answer the phone when I call to make the appointment? What if they do answer, but they’re mean? You get the idea. I worked myself into a real tizzy this morning and by the time I dialed the phone I was shaking, my mouth was dry, and I was making apologies for how I pronounce my primary care’s last name.
I got an appointment, for this Thursday. The woman answering the phone was very nice, and said I can fill out a new patient form before I come into the office. Great. Then she said they like to have a referral on hand (even though my insurance doesn’t require one) and could I call my primary care to get that? Another phone call? Two in one day? Deep breaths, Logan. You can do this. And then I did. I could not pronounce the word podiatry after trying three times. I think I need to lie down for a minute to recover.