Over the weekend we went to Providence for a friend's birthday party. We hadn't seen these friends in a while, because apparently every few years I need to go into a self-imposed witness protection style hibernation in which I don't speak to or communicate with people I care very deeply about for YEARS. Literal years. … Continue reading Mad At Myself
Tag: depression
Fear
My freshman dorm was cinder block tower with narrow metal windows that you could barely crank open. There was a matching building across the street. Someone said they were designed to make sure students wouldn't huck things, or themselves, out the window. Each double room had a little sink and two desks and two beds, … Continue reading Fear
Cascading Failure
Trying to overcome a minor depressive episode feels a lot like trying to wrestle a queen sized futon mattress down a narrow staircase by myself. I know, logically, if I ask for help the task will be easier, but instead I grab the mattress and pull. Sometimes I get lodged in place, smashed against the … Continue reading Cascading Failure
Brain Flu
A few years ago I was minding my own business, eating dinner, watching something stupid on TV and suddenly my pulse was racing. Every part of my body felt hot and weird and that awful bitter taste was all the warning I needed to get to the bathroom and fast. Gastroenteritis is swift and menacing. … Continue reading Brain Flu
Fun Drinks Can Be a Balm
In the midst of a minor depressive episode in my twenties, I called my sister crying, a lot. Almost every day. Sometimes I couldn't even get the words out and she would listen and comfort me and I was so grateful for her time. My sister had a piece of advice for me during that … Continue reading Fun Drinks Can Be a Balm